I know I haven’t been around. First, I tried taking part in my first NaNoWriMo! For those of you that don’t know, it means National Novel Writing Month. In it, authors are challenged to write a novel (or at least 50,000 words of it) during the month of November. I was so close, but so far away (44,537) when I received some news that simply shattered me.
My grandmother passed away.
She was sick and 2010-2011 hadn’t been kind to her. I refuse to dwell on how she passed and frankly there are some elements that I want to keep private. This past weekend was her service and I went to Staten Island. I was able to see some of my family that I hadn’t seen since I was a child. Out of everyone, only my great-aunt didn’t know who I was… it was rather funny.
But I’m digressing. I may do that to keep from crying… AGAIN. My grandmother was nothing short of an icon for me. She was my role model for what a lady truly was. We had tea, she collected spoons and plates, she taught me to crochet and the peace and beauty of flower arrangements. I remember every Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas she would have a feast laid out and a special plate of spaghetti for me (I am, as my friend says, a food racist. I just say picky). At Christmas time there would be countless gifts under the Christmas tree. See, she was the mother of 12, and each of her kids had at least 1 child of their own! No one went home without at least 2 gifts (1 from her, 1 from Santa) and a plate.
I was about 18 or 19 when she and my grandfather moved to Arizona. I’m 33 now. It’s been nearly 15 years since I saw her. We barely spoke on the phone. I had my daughter and only sent pictures. I felt like the worst granddaughter ever.
But now, I went to her service. I saw my family and everything was nice. To tell the truth, I was expecting something like “Death at a Funeral” meets “Soul Food” combined with “The Sopranos” all on crack. But I was greeted by my aunts and uncles that were somber and respectful of the occasion.
So now that everything is over, I have time to think. I love my Grandma, and I’ll miss her. She would probably kick my ass if she knew all of the regrets that I have. She didn’t have a chance to read my stuff, which I’m kinda glad for. Again, she’d probably kick my ass, this time for the sex scenes. 🙂
But really, when everything is said and done, my regrets are my own; and she loved me, faults and all. She’ll always be in my heart, and who knows, maybe we’ll have a tea party in her honor.
Now I’m going to get going before I start bawling like a baby… yes, again. Besides, I have 1 character to toss in jail, and another to decide if I’m going to turn him into a Vampire, Werewolf, or something else entirely.
Rest in Peace Margaret DeGennaro
I love you.